Goodbye Domestic Goddess

We met 15 July 2008 a pretty, classy, shy and quiet girl. We had opposite life style so other than hang out in a large group, we didn't hang around that much. We worked together for 3,5 years. After that we rarely saw each other and from that we occasionally texted each other (not birthday - I don't have the ability to remember birthday date).

We had few things in common and she gets my joke, the way i get her joke. We never talk about important things. We changed text maybe few times a year. Occasionally, random things happened which reminded us to each other and we texted each other, had a good laugh. The last this happened was February 2023.

It's been a while since I received her text, I missed her - but somehow I didn't text her, maybe not that much to text her.

Last week I received a group message that she was sick and the next morning she was gone. Just like that, few of us gathered at her house - people cry, I just sat there clueless, I tried to make a joke which no one understand - but I know she would. I shook her husband hand, I didn't even know what to say. We just stood there like zombie for few seconds, then I got home. 

On the way I heard this song on the radio - Blink 182 "One More Time" 

"...I wonder why, I wish they told us, it shouldn't take a sickness or airplanes falling out the sky....Do you have to die to hear you miss me? Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye? I don't want to act like there's tomorrow, I don't want to wait to do this one more time..."

I'm not good at say good bye and I miss you.

Living in a dream

Decades ago, when I started work in the big city, just broken up my high school boyfriend, I thought that I might probably end up alone, in an apartment, with a cat, sipping a mug of hot tea sitting in the balcony, looking at the city light, so relaxing.

Little did I know, that years later, I did live in apartment that forbids cat, with a balcony too small to sit, I was able to stand and sip tea, but looking my neighbor window in the other apartment building, not so relaxing... 

Sometimes, dreams do come true but sometimes life also gives us unexpected things. As a person that always see the glass is half full, I always keep optimistic in whatever challenges that life throws at me and I always dream big!

Few years ago, I gave birth and desperately sad having to get back to the office when my maternity leave ends, my husband said that, now my challenge is balancing between mothering and working. As an optimist, absolutely I said "OK! I CAN DO IT" - so I am juggling working (while pumping - lucky to have a supportive environment so I can working, meeting even presenting while pumping when it's my schedule to pump) and taking care of my precious baby. Sometimes, being optimist is tiring, some days, when life is too hard, the travelling back home is too long, the assignment is too much and other unpleasant things happen - I just think, it would be better if I can quit my job, but I enjoy my work, ah, it would be perfect if I can just stay at home, while doing my work! It would be a dream job!

Little did I know, a pandemic happens in 2020 that changes our life... jeng... jeng... jeng... we work from home (WFH) mostly - 5 days a week! I am living in a dream!

At the first weeks of WFH, we were still adjusting, as optimist, things are going great, meeting is just one click away! 

But when I had no domestic assistant (we decide we didn't need assistant in 2020 before pandemic), means now I am juggling work, take care my kid basic needs (eat, poo, pee, kiss, hugs, plays, etc) and take care of the house.

I decided to be realistic, not to push, if my kid hasn't taken a shower, when it's already my meeting schedule - let it be. It the meeting is near lunch time, I have to prepare lunch while meeting - let it be. I am thankful that I have supportive colleagues and most people also WFH, so kid crying in the background is acceptable (by me at least).

But, sometimes life throws too much at me, I get angry easily (usually in the afternoon - the darker the sky gets, the darker it becomes my mood as well) the peak is when I had to take training for a certification (preparation for the test and interview), my day to day works (mountain of assignments) and kid toilet training, not a good combo - I was in a pre-test (it was 30 or 15 minutes test) and my kid had to pee and of course she did peeing next to me on the floor - this happens twice. I put on the diapers the next day, postponed the toilet training (I also want to resign and cry during my performance evaluation in front of my boss because it's too much for me to handle).

I've been living in a dream for quite sometimes, more than a year (probably more?) and I am grateful. Looking back to decisions I have made during this dreamy period, some decisions I am not proud to make and sometimes it makes me feel like I am a bad person a bad mother. But, I want to let my self know, that every decision I made, I made in the best interest of my kid at that time, given the (limited) sources that I have. I really hope I could do better, be better - you know I always try to.

 

Vintage City of Kyoto

In a very cold morning (2⁰C) we go out at 6am to move to our next destination Kyoto!

Here's a thing about cold weather (I know this is so dumb, but I am dumb because I live in tropical weather and lack of research on how dry your skin would be in cold weather). On second day, I realize that my lips is crack due to dry cold weather and lick your lip in order to keep it moist is a BAD IDEA! I can't smile because it's so dry and there is a moment when my colleague send a picture of my boss, with a make up of Chinese Zombie, doing presentation for town hall - I burst out a big laugh, the next thing I know my lips are bleeding (Hope I look fantastic too with the blood on my cracking lips) 👹👹👹 

So, Kyoto! It's been ages since I read Miss Modern, Yokohama (who doesn't love Waki Yamato!) and Memoir of Geisha and I love the idea of the city in those stories and somehow I get the picture of such places while visiting this vintage city. I don't know why I like Kyoto the most from the cities I visited, this city is charming and I fall in love. 

Tips while in Kyoto:

1. Buy Kyoto bus pass to save money. It cost 500 Yen for 1 day, as reference one bus ride is 220 Yen. you can buy the bus pass at the convenience store or on the bus. When, we buy Kyoto bus pass, we also get Kyoto bus map.
2. Most shops close at 8pm in Kyoto.
3. Try to get to famous attraction places as early as possible or later before it closes. to avoid crowds.

Below is the places we visited while in Kyoto (Kyoto in 2 days):

• Fushimi Inari Taisha - Famous red Tori gate and there are thousands of them. This place is free no entry ticket, but please be mindful that this is a shrine and people really comes here to pray, so be respectful. If, you have  budget you can rent Kimono and walk around the shrine like Uno or Chiyo 👧 Nearest Station JR Inari Station.

Fushimi Inari Taisha

• Yasaka Dori - Yasaka-no-to Pagoda - Kiyumizudera Temple a small alley with vintage building all around. Unfortunately, we arrive so late everything is closed (shop, pagoda and temple) Fortunately since all shop, pagoda and temple are closed, most of tourist are gone! Accessible by Bus.

Pretty quiet street!

• Kinkakuji Temple - Golden temple is listed as one of the famous and must visit attraction in Kyoto. After waiting in line to purchase the entry ticket, we can see a golden temple with the pond and Japanese garden, the scenery is so peaceful.... If there is not too many people in there, talking, taking photo, shouting, calling other friend who is missing. I feel like I wanna passed out due to the crowd 🙈Accessible by Bus.

above: The Famous Golden Temple; below: the crowds!

• Ginkakuji Temple - the Zen temple is listed as one of the famous and must visit attraction in Kyoto. The situation is similar with the golden temple, but outside the temple there is a walkway called Path of Philosophy which is a pretty long walk with Sakura tree along the way (if it's the blooming season) 💟Accessible by Bus.

Ginkakuji Temple

• Arashiyama Bamboo Forest - It was a long ride to go to this area by bus, I got motion sickness on the bus, it was cloudy and bamboo forest is not a magical place to visit when it's about to rain and we spent moderate time to wait for the bus home... It you have limited time you can skip this area, if you have budget you can try to ride Hozugawa river boat ride (we really want to try but we have limited budget 😒 hihi). Better make sure you have sunlight during your visit 💁💛Sun is good! Accessible by Bus.

Me with my bleeding cracking lips in a cloudy day at Arashiyama Bamboo Forest

• Kurama-Dera - as a fan (not a big one but still we love the story) of Shanao Yoshitsune who meets Tengu in Kurama Temple, we decided to visit Kurama Temple. Unfortunately, the tram up to the temple is under maintenance, so we need to walk up (30-60 minutes hiking). It was the hardest decision we made during the trip, we decided not to go up, considering it's cloudy day, it's a forest and mountain, and it's about to rain. We don't have the experience and knowledge (I was not doing a comprehensive research about going up hiking knowing there is a tram). So, we just walk around the town and buy Tengu mask! Accessible by train.

Fail attempt to visit Kurama - Dera

• Nijo Castle - a historic place, UNESCO World Heritage Site. This is where the Shogun lives. I overheard the guide that in one of the room of this building the Meiji Restoration begins (this is why you need to really hire a guide 😂). This Accessible by Bus.

Nijo Castle Gate

Aside from those places we also visit Nishiki Market where we have plenty of interesting food to eat, one of them is sushi wrap in a leaf and an okonomiyaki Kyoto style (If pizza is okonomiyaki, then this Kyoto style okonomiyaki is calzone). I am trying to find the picture 😸 for reference...

Cheers,

Japan Trip - One Cold Day in Osaka!

Hallo Japan!

Finally, here we are. Touch down Japan from Osaka Kansai International Airport (KIX). After, short planning for this trip, we arrive in a cold windy Osaka morning (below 10⁰C) 😍 this is our second cold trip after Vietnam. Since, it's really cold, I really wish I could make a good winter photo during this trip!

So, lucky for your who read this (if there's any reader to my blog!), tips to do after you arrive is:

1. Put First Things First (1) fill the immigration form (2) claim your bag and (3) go to JR office to change ICOCA booking (or JR Pass booking if you have one) - NOT to change your clothes and applying moisturizer, sunblock, powder and lipstick 👧 please do this on the plane - because the queuing line is crazy at JR office and to avoid cranky 👹husband because you spend too long at the toilet 🙈.
2. Only if you purchase ICOCA + Haruka bundling ticket - DO NOT TAP your ICOCA Card at the station entry gate. Use the white paper ticket, yes it is your Haruka ticket!
3. Go to Wifi rental. Internet connection will help you for direction and many other things. We rely on gmap during our trip and phone application for Japan train schedule. 

If you follow this two steps, guarantee you will have a peaceful trip instead of having your husband lecturing you all the way from KIX to Osaka downtown. you know sometimes this 💩 happens.

Luckily, we have a really generous Airbnb host in Osaka so we can put our bag in his office before check-in (usually at 2-3pm) and free from our bags we start our one day journey in Osaka. Here's our top list things to do (8 hours in Osaka) :

Osaka Castle

1. Endo Sushi in Osaka Central Fish Market - Sushi is serious business and after series of research our option is to go to this place. Since, this is the only Sushi joint I visited, I can't make a comparison. All I can say is that you spend a moderate time in line (while eating sweet yam) in a cold day and it's all worth the wait! Nearest station JR Noda Station or Subway Tamagawa Station.
2. Osaka Castle - It's end of winter and the plum flower ready to bloom, so pretty 💟! Nearest station JR Osakajokoen Station.
3. Namba shopping center with all the lights and signs 😻 unfortunately I didn't have any chance to try okonomiyaki. Next time, I go to Osaka, I must try it! Nearest station JR Osaka-Namba or Subway Namba Station.

Endo Sushi Osaka

That's all from Osaka, it's not much since we don't really spend 24 hours in Osaka! Next destination is Kyoto!

Cheers,

Hallo Japan!

Hallo,

I know this has been a long time... but my 2017 resolution requires me to write again :)
So, here I am writing on Sunday raining morning instead of cuddling with my lovely husband Kaki Berbulu (literally translated to be Hairy Foot).

Since, the easiest subject is about travelling so, here's the story about our holiday in Japan. Well, we have been travelling to several places since we get together, each year to Bali (must go place) and if we have more money once a year overseas or any where in Indonesia of we can't afford to go anywhere overseas. Our dream is to go to Turkey, Japan, UK (hubby), Paris (me).

During two first year of our marriage in accordance to our Long Term Budgeting Plan (It's a book with a picture of cat that we use to make travelling plan since we're dating, that draws all the big plan detailing to monthly - sometimes weekly if we (read: I) feel ambitious - which opened only when we make the plans! - in my defense, yes I did remember all of those plan! so we didn't have to open it all the time) all the monies go to saving for car (first year) and house (second year).

Well, because our (read: my) lousy money handling it's extended to our fourth year (blame it on me, house investor maniacs with money from God knows where that you can read here and all Tumi bags). One sunny weekend in September 2015 (fourth year of marriage), Kaki Berbulu tells me that he's dying to go travelling (and yes such thing exist for us) so, we visit Garuda Travel Fair.

Our initial plan is to go on next year September 2016 because always make big travel plan a year ahead. The thing is the promotion ticket travel date is until end of March 2016, so what we did is we sat on a corner in JCC, start to calculate the budget planning and as a devoted reliable wife with great financial management skill, I will make that happen... After 30 minutes of calculating - I never speculating! - I said we can make it, thus we bought ticket to Japan for Feb 2016! Yay!!!!

The thing from September to February is 4 months to go, limited budget (limited buffer for error) and as a planner you need a robust plan. This is what you can do:

1. Make detail calculation means you need to have a detail plan. Start with the place you want to visit and things you want to eat (that's the main purpose of travelling to see and to eat) then you can start building your itinerary, to the detail of cost of every trains/subway trip, food to eat and entry ticket of place to visit. Sometimes buying pass is cheaper (bus pass in Kyoto and bundling ticket for ICOCA+Haruka from KIX to downtown Osaka), however in our case buying JR Pass is more expensive than paying single ride using ICOCA (for Osaka and Kyoto) or SUICA (for Tokyo). 
2. Split transaction (especially big one) - we purchase accommodation earlier and we split one transaction per month.
3. Use cash wisely - in Japan most small restaurant don't accept card. So, split your payment and use cash or credit card wisely. Check, your place to visit whether they accept card or not.

Nothing is impossible, so if you want it you will find a way to make it.

Later on I will share the Japan Journey! I need to go Kaki Berbulu already wakes up :)

Hello from the other side*

Hallo...

Well its been quite a while since my last post. I made some posts through blog mobile application, somehow it failed and the story is lost between draft or posted, oh i don't know...
I gave up easily on mobile application, as easy as i give up on Jakarta rush hours traffic...

So many things going on since my last post, I plan to write on the house project and latest travelling story of Si Muka Lebar and Kaki Berbulu.
But this post today is about perspective.

As i grow up, I realize that life is not like what we always think. I used to have an idea that living in Bekasi (25 km to my office) is a waste of time, well having lived in Kalibata (less than 10 km from my office) for 3 years, spending 20 minutes (in Ied holiday no traffic at all) to 2 hours driving (average driving is 1 hour) to the office, and by living in Bekasi I only spent 45 minutes to 2 hours to the office (average driving is 50 minutes). It turned out it's so much easier living in Bekasi than in Kalibata, LOL, I must be crazy if I say this 2 years ago. That how I lived, we tend to live under a perspective, wait until you stand on the other side, and see that from a different perspective, you will have a different view.

I found this story, when i browsed for our soon to be new country president in the Starship (curiosity killed the cat... I don't want to be curious, as the Starship director interviewed him, i went on line looking for his track record as well, hihi it turned out that he is a leader that is loved and respected by his employee), he told this story to his employee...
There is a picture of a beautiful beach, and he asked the employee what does this picture tells you? It's a a beautiful beach, white sands and blue water... Then the picture zoomed out, it turn out to be a view from an airplane window... Further zoom out it's a post card showing a airplane interior with a window showing the beautiful beach (more or less that's the story, i forgot the exact story ha-ha!).

that's a perspective, the way you think of something it's really depend on your perspective. So, try to see a thing from different perspective you might get a better idea of a thing.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. you will never know what it has until you are in the very end of the chapter. but not all people have time to read through a book, how do we know if it's good? You might get a summary of a book but back again to perspective, the summary writer might have a different perspective from ours. So, there is no short cut in undestanding things, if you new in a thing, walk it step by step, unless you like surprises, pick a guess, go with it and get lost in possibilities...

The point of what I want to say in this post is, judging is boring, so try to look into a different perspective, you might get a different new brighter better view.

Happy Sunday!
*I believe it's part of Adele's song lyrics, called "Hallo"

What did you see in this picture?